The secrets to processing big emotions, fears and traumas – Self-Soothing Techniques #All the feels. (1)

Hey Baddies!

Imagine this:

You just got in a horrible fight with your significant other and are raging…what do you do?

You hear your co-workers whispering about you and feel disrespected…what’s your next move?

You have experienced a major loss …how do you handle this?


Life really has a way of throwing challenges our way at the most inopportune times.  It seems like when it rains it always pours and it is often easier said than done to make lemons out of lemonade. 

When you go through a tough time or a difficult moment, do you lose control? Do become hasty and say or do things you regret later? Do you take a moment and think?

Sometimes the only thing you can do in the moment is pause and make sure to care for yourself so that you can handle the situation ahead of you.  

Our mental states have a major effect on our physical states.

In our physical body we have a nervous system. “The nervous system is a complex, sophisticated system that regulates and coordinates body activities”

Our nervous systems have a way of taking over and causing us to react in different ways. The nervous system is there to act as our protection and preservation mechanism. When we are stressed or experience trauma, we can begin to see the effects in our physical body through things like headaches, loss of feeling or tingling, weakness or loss of muscle strength, sometimes memory loss. 

How to do we help prevent this?

Let’s talk about mindfulness and self-soothing. 

Mindfulness is a mental state where we become aware the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. We become in tune with our physical and mental states.

When we are aware we can then soothe and calm our nervous system. 

Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

A lot of times this includes breathwork, or conscious breathing, moments of silence, or stillness.

I have listed a few ways to practice self-soothing and calming techniques that will help allow feelings to flow through you and out instead of trapping it inside.

  • Express: This could mean writing it out, shaking it out, singing it out, exercise it out, talk it out. Get the energy out of your body any way you know how. Circulate it the energy. When you are going through a tough time, it helps to express those feelings. Respectfully.
  • Give Grace: Do not spiral into negative feelings or self-doubt. Inopportune situations happen all the time to everybody. Period. Allow yourself to feel. It is ok. You have been through tough things before. Honor your feelings. Do not fight them and move them along.
  • Give yourself time: If it takes you an hour to process or 2 months. That is ok, as long as you process. Many circumstances will come and challenge us in ways we may not understand or see coming. Its ok not to rush through.
  • Don’t be rash: Try not to make any serious decisions when you are processing trauma or in an emotional state. You may make a rash decision out of fear. Breathe. Most things do not have to be fixed right in this moment.
  • Cover yourself with love: Reach out to friends, family and loved ones. Some may not know you are going through something. Don’t be afraid to ask for support during tough times. You may be surprised how some will show up for you.
  • Remember that this issue or problem is temporary: Life will constantly throw curveballs. They all have passed and will continue to pass. It will get better.
  • Empower yourself: Remember that you are a power and strong force to be reckoned with. You have gone through tough things before. Affirm yourself. Build yourself up. Do not forget that you can handle situations and setbacks.

When we are flooded with intense emotion (energy in motion) we want to help it flow out. Keeping that energy pent up is the opposite of what we want to do for our health and wellbeing.

The next time a situation arises, consider some of these tips and let me know how they help.

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