There was a time in my life where I felt like I needed the approval of others to feel like I was worth anything. Although I have consistently found myself to be a confident person as far as my abilities, I did not have the same confidence in relationships. I remember specifically thinking to myself, “if I give more in this relationship, then they would see how amazing I am, and would need me more,” not realizing that I was giving so much with the hopes of receiving the little scraps in return that I subconsciously thought I was worth. I was not reading the signs and would easily become blinded by the little amount being reciprocated, if at all, and thinking it was a grand gesture.
It took about 1 good heartbreak to realize…. “No – I really am amazing and I deserve so much more.” I felt the so sad and unhappy and allowed myself to feel the pain for about 1 week, trying to figure out how I walked myself into this pain. After the week was up I decided it was time to move and change.I used the Feel and Form Method.
I used the Feel and Form Method. Click to read more about a method to get back on your feet after you’ve gone through a hard time.
I needed to figure out how I can prevent myself from going through this same situation again, and why I was settling for less, and what in my past informed why I thought that was ok. From then I moved differently. Purposefully went outside of my comfort zone to prove to myself that I can do what I put my mind to. I went after new experiences and went on a self-discovery journey to build myself up. No longer settling for scraps.
This is one reason why I am so passionate about Bad Bitch Affirmations. I want others to know that we do not need to be validated or built up by anyone else.
We can give to ourselves. We can love ourselves. We can validate ourselves.
A key to be a true BB is wearing your crown, knowing your worth, and giving yourself your flowers (accolades) without the need of validation from others.
It is my goal to make sure my baddies not only know this truth but embody this truth.
Definition of self-validation
: the feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one’s own worthiness or legitimacy
A lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. As you go on your journey you might get discouraged by opinions or negativity of others – don’t. It doesnt matter if the negative comments are pointed at you or not. Do not waiver or get wrapped up in lower level thinking and walk in your worthiness and self love.
Be kind to yourself and give grace.
Give yourself time if needed. Give yourself love when you need it. Do not give yourself undue pressure or hold yourself to some erroneous standard. Treat yourself as you would your best friend – kindly and patiently.
The way you talk to yourself and treat yourself can inform a lot about your experience in the world.
If you think you are worthless, then you may act as if you are worthless, and others may treat you as if you are worthless. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt”
Fill yourself daily
Make sure your cup run-eth over. You don’t need words or opinions of others as validation to know your special or amazing. Fill yourself before trying to fill someone else. You need to be a whole/full individual to have extra for others.
Daily Affirmations are an extremely useful tool to fill yourself up. Repetition becomes an ingrained habit. And it is great thing to think you are worthwhile as a habit.
Have an abundance mindset.
Begin to operate from the mind frame of excess and abundance not from lack. In other words, you are powerful and have a lot to offer. You are not a victim but a champion in your own right. Pour into yourself with positive speech today. (NAME 10 things you like about yourself…GO!)
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
– Al Franken as Stuart Smalley
All of our experiences make us who we are. And I wouldn’t trade an experience for anything. It is what we can learn from these experiences and how we can grow that brings the value from the pain. BBA was created to fuel and motivate and encourage all women to know our worth and realize that there is a bad bitch in all of us.
The Declaration of Self Esteem below by Virginia Satir has some of the same truths and themes you’ll see throughout Bad Bitch Affirmations, and it was only fitting that I should share it with you all below. Let the words really sink in.
Declaration of self esteem –
the Declaration of Self-Esteem by Virginia Satir
“In all the world there is not one exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I choose it…I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions whether they be to others or to myself…I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears…I own all of my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes…because I own all of me. I become intimately acquainted with me…by so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts…I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects I do not know…but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me…however I look and sound whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me…if later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting and keep the rest and invest something new for that which is I discard…I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me…I own me and therefore I can engineer me…I am me and I AM OKAY.”