This title probably feels really lofty and overzealous but this post has a few a simple techniques that, with practice, can allow you to become more in tune with self, help you to reduce those unpleasant feelings of disappointment, rejection, or even dissatisfaction, and help you to make space to focus on the things that bring you joy as opposed to the opposite.
Although you may not be able to change things when circumstances that don’t go as planned, you can change your outlook and your reactions to them.
Sometimes the only thing you can change is yourself. And starting with a change in your mind-frame has proven to be a great place to start.
A strong BBA mantra that was given in 8 tips to deal with disappointment and create more satisfaction was one I try and use daily.
BBA Mantra: By releasing my expectations, I release myself.
This means that by releasing your expectations and strong attachments to one outcome or another, you then free yourself or release yourself.
“Release from what?”- you may ask. Release from expectations of others, expectations of self, pain from missed opportunities, perceived notions that you should have done, any self-doubt, anger, jealousy, stress, guilt, anxiety, shame, suffering – and so much more.
I have given you a few steps to essentially switch from a defeated state to a champion mind-frame and start releasing ourselves and moving more into flow state and freedom of many, often self- imposed, expectations.
So how do we begin? Keep reading.
Make the decision.
- Step One – decide. Decide to release your expectations and prep yourself. Get committed.
- Think to yourself “I will be ok in any outcome and whatever will be will be.”
- Change from thinking why me (a victim mindset) to why not me (a champion mindset).
Get to the heart of the matter and reflect.
- Sit and think about how you are really feeling.
- Eliminate the ego, be honest with yourself, then get deep.
- Consider writing out why you feel the way you do, think about your roll in the situation and what is in your power to control.
- What insecurities, ideals about life, limiting thoughts, philosophies about the way things should be -came up or aren’t meeting expectations?
- When dealing with expectations with people remember, not everyone is like you, has the same ideals as you, or knows how to do what you might expect of them. Make sure you speak up. Sometimes people have no clue and need a little help understanding.
Actively work on correcting any limiting thoughts.
- Operate from a place of power, choose happiness and remember where you put your focus determines what you will see. Let the expectations go and see life for what is really happening. Change your thought patterns.
- Focus on being happy, the things that are going right. Fixing those habits, thoughts, or emotions that bring you pain and suffering.
- You can be in control of how to react. You’re not always a victim.
- Keep it light, some of these things won’t matter in 5 years, 1 year, and sometimes even 1 hour – unless you hold on to it and take it with you.
Remember and use Flow state
- Be like water, formless, not rigid.
- Focus on goals, align your skills, champion your control over situations, and tune into growth.
- Roll with the punches. Blow it away and out of your space and move on.
- Let everything else go. If its already happened – a situation didn’t go to plan…just let it go